Joey: Feminist issue. That's where I went!
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
Ross:(sympathetic yet...) Yeah, well...
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Chandler: That's patio furniture!
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
Chandler: (gesturing towards another table) What about the birds?
Joey: I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Chandler: You pick one.
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Chandler: Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining!
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Rachel: Well, sure...just a sec, though, 'cause Paolo's on his way over.
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, Pheebs...
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?!
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Rachel: All right, well, you're right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Rachel: I guess you don't.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
(Rachel looks stunned)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Ross: I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
Chandler: I know!
(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler's new foosball table.)
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
Joey: Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play!
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is recovering from the shock.]
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Rachel: I need some milk.
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Rachel: No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so..." Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed!
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
(Phoebe's and Rachel's lines overlap)
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
